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No couple could make their marriage last with joy and intimacy without a commitment to forgiveness. And yet forgiveness in marriage is seldom actually stressed. There is no magic formula, but Jesus Christ’s teaching does point the way for moving through forgiveness when needed.
Jesus uses financial models:
Matthew 6:12 Forgive (APHIEMI) us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
Mark 11:25 And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.
The Greek word = APHIEMI = to send away, to give up, to keep no longer, to let go, to release from obligation…
1. Jesus commanded us to do so. — If you hold anything against anyone, forgive him… (Mark 11:25).
2. Not doing so hinders your relationship with God. It puts you out of fellowship with Him. — …forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins (Mark 11:25).
3. Because you have experienced God’s grace and forgiveness. — Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you? (Matthew 18:33).
4. It is a powerful way to be like Christ. — Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you (Colossians 3:13).
5. Forgiving frees you for a restored relationship!
1. You give up your perceived right to get even.
2. You don’t hold “it” over your partner’s head.
3. You try to move ahead constructively with the relationship.
This is a good place to use the Speaker/Listener Technique for the offended partner to share the hurts.
If applicable, offender gives positive commitment to change recurrent patterns or attitudes that give offense.
No throwing the issue at the other in a conflict.
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James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to one another and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The prayer of the righteous is powerful and effective.