Fighting for Your Marriage Session 7

Solving Problems and Disagreements

1 Peter 2:17 Show proper respect to everyone. . . .

There are many ways to try to solve problems and come to agreements. This method (called the 3Ps) is one way that many couples have found helpful. Great marriages are characterized by an abiding sense of teamwork based on deep, mutual respect and love. In some ways, this model is like a road map to keep you on the path and moving forward when you have a specific problem to work through. Try it out and see what you think.

Step One: Problem Discussion (The Speaker-Listener Technique)

Proverbs 18:13 He who answers a matter before he hears it, It is folly and shame to him. (NKJV)

  • You should separate Problem Discussion from Problem Solution.

  • Premature problem solving leads to poor solutions and poor follow through.

Step Two: Prayer

This is a step not mentioned in the secular material, but we would emphasize the value of a couple praying together and seeking God’s direction and help. Whether silent or out loud, at this point in the process or earlier, there is power and peace in acknowledging God in your working together.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Step Three: Problem Solution

Agenda Setting

  • Pick a very specific piece of the issue you are working on to try to solve right now.
  • Stay on this focus for solution ideas.

Brain Storming

  • Suggest any ideas at all and be creative.
  • No criticism or evaluation at this point.


  • Talk out the ideas you came up with.
  • Try out different combinations.
  • Try to find the trial solution that will have the best chance of working.

Follow up on Trial Solution

  • Set a time frame to see if the solution is working, and change it if necessary.

copyright Christian PREP, Inc. 1996

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