Frankly Answered Questions - FAQs

How do we implement a Child Safety Program in our church?

Q: I looked over your website section on Child Protection Policies. Our church is also wrestling with these issues. We have some similar things in place.

However, we have had difficulty getting acceptance from a significant number of our volunteer workers. Many have refused to sign and will simply leave their ministry. The Board of Deacons and Elders, of which I am a member, is now faced with having to find replacements. (This policy was passed before I was elected.)

First of all, we are only a church of about 200 people. Everyone knows everybody else. Frankly, it seems to me that we have increased our exposure to risk, as a result of this policy. Since many of our longtime teachers of years and years won't sign, we have taken to placing requests in the bulletin for replacements. So, we will be replacing people with a known track record, for which their only shortcoming is refusal to sign, with those who have much less history with the church, or commitment. If they were committed, why did they wait for an ad in the bulletin? Why weren't they serving already? This, to me, is a recipe for disaster, for you know there will also be pressure to "hurry up and get people qualifed." Just because somebody is willing to sign a form doesn't make them OK. You will find that out AFTER the incident.

There are many reasons given for refusing to sign, most feel we are being too intrusive. Others feel they have already proven themselves. Still others feel that signing what appears to be a legal document is inconsistent with their status as a volunteer. Also, our church is quite conservative and not all that trustful that government is the friend of churches.

The board plans to review this policy, in light of these difficulties. Has anyone at your church any wisdom for us, in this area?

Your 2-adult rule is good and I don't think anyone objects to references. But, we also ask for SSN#s, drivers licenses, criminal history, and the agreement to waive any rights to review materials submitted. We did scrap the fingerprinting idea. That was just too much.

Naturally, everyone wants to do the right thing. We know we need something in place, and no one is saying we shouldn't have anything. But, if a little is good, more is not necessarily better.

A: You have raised some insightful issues and good concerns. I'm not sure all of the elements of your Child Safety Program, so I hesitant to speak too dogmatically, but let me make a few observations that may or may not be appropriate. Take them with a grain of salt and you decide what "fits" and what doesn't.

• It sounds like you did not get "ownership" of the program before instituting it. This is a common mistake in instituting any "change." We had the nursery supervisor, the Sunday school superintendent, the youth leaders, many of the teachers, and most of the influential people "on board" before we ever presented it to the congregation. We had these people "on board", because they were either part of the drafting committee or had the opportunity to provide significant input into the program.
  
  As I see it, your options at this point are to:
  
  1. Proceed to implement the program. This would mean allowing volunteers to make their choices, seeking new volunteers through personal requests (rather than bulletin announcements), continuing to educate everyone on the dangers of NOT implementing the program, and allowing ministries to temporarily die that people will not support.
  
  2. Admit that you did a poor job of handling change or that you made the program too strict. This would mean that you go to the congregation and get ownership that we need "some" program, then you go back to the drawing board with key players, and rework it. This will take some humility, of course, and if your program is NOT too strict, then for the sake of the kids you absolutely shouldn't do it.

• We did a lot of education of ourselves and then the congregation about the danger of molesters and how they have moved into the church setting. We received lists of court cases and a very informative video (available from ReducingtheRisk.com). We also began collecting articles from our local newspaper about molestation cases and suits against churches. This provided a realistic motivation for making "sacrifices of privacy" for the sake of the children and the long-term health of the church.
  
  Of course, we had our own experience with a staff member who molested a teenage girl. There is nothing like the pain and grief of molestation and a 4 million dollar law suit to make you think long and deep about these issues. Change was easier for us, because we saw the devastation that this brought on the victim and we shared in some of the emotional pain of feeling violated. We had started formulating our Child Safety Program before the lawsuit, but the suit (eventually dropped after $14,000 in legal costs) became another motivation for change.

• We have also been concerned about government involvement in this process. Like you, we believe in a strong separation of the church from government control or influence.
  
  We have reassured our people that the only place that government touches our Child Safety Program is in the Commonwealth of Virginia, Department of Social Services, Child Protective Services Release of Information Form. This form is necessary because this agency is the only place that has the information we need on child molesters. In this sense, it is more a data base function than a government function. We reassure people that no record is kept of the background check (in fact, the form is not recorded at Child Protective Services and is sent back to us). Of course the form does require your Social Security #, but everybody has that already. (If you've ever had the opportunity to watch them do a search at the Department of Motor Vehicles you will find that the government already has a complete data base on you down to your shoe size. You are NOT giving away any new information by filling out a background check form.)

• You wrote: "Everyone knows everybody else." I don't think that is accurate.
  
  The staff member who molested the teenager in our church had been a member of the church for 10 years. He was a member prior to coming on staff. He was 56 years old. He was loved (even idolized) by almost everyone in the congregation. If we had asked for testimonials about his ability to work with children, we would have had no trouble receiving many letters of recommendation.
  
  We all THOUGHT that we knew him, but we didn't. His own wife and daughter didn't know him. After the fact, we found that he had participated in numerous sexually immoral relationships since age 18.
  
  We knew absolutely NONE of this. We are not a church that sticks its head in the sand. We did an adequate job of supervising him. We are a spiritually alive church and a church of prayer.
  
  Molesters are just VERY devious people. They have had years of practicing secrecy.
  
  I have become more and more convinced that only God knows a person's heart. Our Child Safety Interviews have revealed some very hurting people (who should not be around children). Some people are actually looking for an opportunity to tell someone they are hurting and we have tried to compassionately help these people. These are all things that we did not know before the Child Safety Program was implemented.

• I realize that people going through your Child Safety Program and signing a paper does not insure that they are "okay," but it does do three things:
  
  1. It sets up another hurdle for a child molester to jump over. Most molesters will avoid it and go elsewhere. (Actually that is why they have gravitated to the church. The Boy Scouts, the public schools, and day care centers have all instituted Child Safety Programs. The church is about the only place that a person can go and work with children without ANY questions being asked.)
  
  2. It protects the church in case of a lawsuit. The court will decide any case based on whether or not "a reasonable effort was made to protect the children under your care." A decision against a church will mean the end of a good reputation. Financial judgments can also mean the end of a church's ministry. It's a great way for Satan to devastate a good church.
  
  3. It educates volunteers about what to do, what to look for, and what the church expects when caring for these "little ones." A key component of any Child Safety Program is education. The mere process of having a program and going through the program educates. It says to people: "We think children are important. We protect them. We think child ministry is significant -- so significant that we let only the most qualified individuals work with our children."
  
  Jesus was very clear about the need to protect the weaker members of his church: "If anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea" (Matthew 18:6). Volunteers need to know the seriousness of their task under Christ.

• One final thought: The person who is implementing or supervising the Child Safety Program must be absolutely convinced of its need and able to convince others. If they have doubts, then it will not succeed.

Thanks for writing and letting me know of your concerns. I hope there is something in this hodgepodge of thoughts that it useful to your leadership board.