What's wrong with sex before marriage?
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Frankly Answered Questions - FAQs

What's wrong with sex before marriage?

Q: Hello, my name is Chris and I am 16 years old. I don't understand why people take sex before marriage so seriously. All my friends have had sex with their girlfriends and they are in love with each other and so even if you are 14,15,16,17, or even 21, if you love someone and you want to share your love I think sex is not wrong.

A: Hi Chris,

Thanks for writing and sharing your thoughts on the issue of sex before marriage. While I'm sure you would love to hear my views on the subject, I thought you might be more interested in listening to the ideas of teens your own age and from a few adults that are part of a class we are holding on Sexual Purity. So, I turned your email over to our class to see what they thought. Here's what they had to say:

- Scientific studies indicate that relationships that involve pre-marital sex fail. A relationship that starts with sex usually last only 2-3 years. A marriage usually runs into trouble in 3-5 years. If a couple have sex prior to marriage, it may start to fade just when the marriage troubles start, the strong sexual attraction may not be there when the couple needs it most.

- Sex before marriage changes your future in so many ways!! There are negative risks both spiritually and physically.

- Chris, will their love for each other last a lifetime? I suggest that their sexual relations are self serving. You/they are cheating themselves of the intimacy that God intended.

- If you have sex before marriage you will never know whether the relationship is based on a true "kinship" with that person or just sex.

- I think sex before marriage is wrong because the Bible tells us that it is. Sex comes with a lot of complications that even an adult would find hard to handle, not to mention sexually transmitted diseases.

- Dear Chris, sex before marriage? Yes, I did and I'm terrible sorry that I did. Is it God's wish for us? No, it's not. God should be the priority in our life and all else will follow according to His plan, that way you can feel better about yourself and avoid all kinds of consequences for your deviation from God's desires.

- Love waits. Your relationship should be able to grow and thrive without sex. I encourage you to develop a relationship that does not depend on sex for oneness.

- Though you cannot imagine it now, Chris, sometime in your future you will really regret having sex before you're married, if you should go ahead and do it. You are going to do what you want to do but just know, without a doubt, it is true that sex before marriage will hurt you inside.

- If you have sex before marriage you lose your virginity and when you get married you are not giving your whole self to your spouse.

- Sex outside of marriage is like playing Russian Roulette. You never know when the gun will fire or the person has an STD.

- I can tell you from experience that sex before marriage will ultimately damage your sexual relationship with the one you do eventually marry. It is much wiser to wait and experience that person and have that person experience you for the first time without expectation of things that were before.

- If you don't marry that person who you've had sex with, then the person who you do marry won't get the entire you.

- Sex is like a beautiful gift. It's only one special gift that should not be wasted on just a love fling.

- Chris, sex is a precious gift from God. This gift can only be given away for the first time once. Wouldn't this be a great gift for that one person who will be with you for the rest of your life?

- The Bible says that we are not supposed to commit adultery and having sex before marriage is considered adultery, so it is called sinning.

- If you love them you'll be willing to wait until marriage to have sex. It will make it all the more special.

- If you truly love someone you will respect them enough to wait until marriage to have sex.

- It's not worth the risk of pregnancy or STD. It's not fair to your future spouse.

Chris, you might want to also check out the following web pages:

Thanks for writing!

Joy and strength to you in Christ,

Dennis Rupert, pastor

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