A List of Do's and Don'ts for Any Woman Trying to Save Her Marriage

You discover that your husband is "interested" in another woman. Is there any possibility of your marriage continuing? Absolutely. We have seen many marriages in our church restored and even become better than what they were before. Much of this depends on your husband and the choices that he makes, but some of it depends on you. Here is the part that you can play in the hope of restoration.

Concentrate on yourself, redeeming the mistakes you have made and asking God to show you how to change, rather than concentrating on the failures of your partner.

Don't blame yourself or let others blame you for choices that your husband is making.

Recognize that you can't change your husband. So don't try to reform him. Don't nag or scream. (That's not going to make you any more attractive to him. He will just use it to point the blame to you.) Changing your husband is God's task.

There can be no growth in your relationship as long as there is doubt as to your marriage. Make your commitment!

When your husband withholds his love, trust the Lord and other Christian women to meet your emotional needs. God won't let you down!

Learn and practice the principles of "tough love." Study James Dobson's book Love Must Be Tough. Don't react. Act out of prayer, wisdom.

Live one day at a time.

Don't try to live it on your own. Pray. The Lord is with you!

Don't be bitter against anyone in the situation. Bitterness is something that destroys you; it does not destroy the person you are bitter towards. Never turn your children against their father. Forgive!

Don't ask family or friends to take sides against your spouse.

Choose your Biblical counselor wisely. Never discuss your problems with a friend of the opposite sex.

Discuss your intimate marriage problems with only a very select few. Don't give fuel to gossip. Confide in the Lord, your counselor, and perhaps a close Christian friend whom you can trust to keep silence.

Spend as much time in the Word of God as possible. This is your strength and food for each day.

Spend your time with people who will encourage you in spiritual growth.

Do not overcompensate with your children. They need your love and stability while their father is gone, but they still need discipline. Don't make them your confidants and friends. Be their parent.

Remember that the most innocent thing you say will get twisted. Avoid loose talk and do not listen to tale bearing.

If your husband left for another woman and then returns, don't expect your husband to change overnight.

The hardest time may be when you are reconciled and you have a tendency to fall back into old habit patterns. Don't do it!

Hope all things, believe all things, endure all things ("endure all things" does not mean physical abuse or opening your bed to this lover, of course).